it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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