I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
