dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
