i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
