what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
