My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
