I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
