I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
