I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
