Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
