And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
