i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
