i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
