I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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