And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize