I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize