YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize