He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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