Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
