To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
how drunk are you?
Several
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
