i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
