Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
