I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
