plz talk dirty to me
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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