Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
if only i could text you this smell
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
