I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
