I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
