dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
