make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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