My room smells like vodka and shame
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
