went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
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Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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