Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
