I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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