So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
