I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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