for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
