her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
