Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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