My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
