do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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