it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize