Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
