doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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