i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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