in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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