i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
