Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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