Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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