is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
