allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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