Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
