I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
