I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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