Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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