you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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