Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
