so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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