Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize