White coat. Heels.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
