i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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